


One Night

by Ravensdawn



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Dark, First Time, I Admit It, Lots of Sex, M/M, Porn, Sex, Squint and you miss it fake date, ok this is mostly porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 09:02:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8618095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravensdawn/pseuds/Ravensdawn
Summary: People always say it's just sex.  Jane and Cho find out it's an emotional minefield.  Not that that's a bad thing.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I know all my fic are rated E, but this one is a tad more E than the rest.

“We’ll do it!” Jane said a little too loudly and a little too enthusiastically. Accompanied by an arm around Cho’s shoulder and a squeeze, the rest of the team couldn’t help but wonder what that was all about. Jane beamed his conspiratorial smile and Cho rolled his eyes and sighed. They were working a case of a serial killer who targeted young men. Someone needed to keep an eye on their potential victim while the rest of them covered outside the club. A gay club. Jane had volunteered Cho and himself to go undercover inside.  
“C’mon we’ll look great together!” Jane said with a smug smile. Cho had his ideas as to why Jane was pushing this with” embarrassing him” near the top of the list. Well, two can play that game.

  
“Fine. I lead,” Cho said and Jane looked like the cat who’d gotten the cream. Jane wasn’t easy to embarrass.

  
Rigsby and Cho made eye contact, Rigsby half wondering half questioning, Cho looked away, but he was smirking. Agent Lisbon said, “Fine. No funny stuff. We’re after a killer.” She didn’t even look at Cho, that was entirely for Jane’s benefit. Van Pelt looked a little lost.

Cho got ready for the club. He’d noticed his disturbing willingness to do whatever Jane asked, and now look what he’d gotten himself into. He put on the suit he and Jane bought together for that case that time he had to look the part of a playboy. He slicked back his hair that he’d gotten trimmed up that afternoon, completing the look with patent leather shoes.

  
Jane put on his favorite pinstripe suit, with a solid colored vest. His hair was just this side of controlled with gel, all his curls at least going in the same direction. He wondered what he was up to. Why was he so into this idea, why was he making such an effort to look good. Ultimately, it didn’t matter. He pulled on his matching socks and tried not to think about it.

  
“Wow, you two look fantastic!” Agent Lisbon exclaimed when she came into the pit and saw them. Cho looked shy and Jane said, “Thank you, I thought so, too!” in his usual way. This time Van Pelt and Rigsby made questioning eye contact. They all piled in the van and Lisbon gave the orders. Van Pelt would watch the security cameras. She and Rigsby would watch the main entrance, and of course Cho and Jane would be inside, keeping watch.

  
When they got there everyone went into professional mode. Jane and Cho got their hands stamped at the door while Van Pelt found the manager, flashing her badge to get access to the cameras. Lisbon and Rigsby set to patrol the outside.

  
It was loud inside. There was a long bar off to the side, half-walled off from the dance floor. It had a few tables beside the bar and a few more across the room. Fortunately the place wasn’t that big with doors to the restrooms along a recession in the far wall. Few places to hide, made their job easier. Jane and Cho went to the bar and tried to look the part. They were only supposed to get one drink and not drink it, other than small sips.  
Van Pelt was glued to the monitors.

“Anything?” Lisbon asked over the radio.  
“Nothing yet, boss,” Van Pelt answered first.  
“Nope,” that was Rigsby.  
“Potential victim spotted,” Cho said. “On the dance floor, far back corner” Even Jane looked over at him in surprise.  
Van Pelt raised her eyebrows, impressed that Cho could see that from his position. She immediately located who Cho had pinpointed and kept a close watch.

  
“C’mon, we need to dance,” Cho said, entirely in CBI agent mode.

  
Jane chuckled and followed obediently. They danced, if you could call it that, their way over, closer to their mark. They didn’t really fit the scene in their suits, but no one seemed to care. Cho tried to stay where he could easily see and still dance. Jane was decidedly not helping with that. He looked for all the world that he was on a date with Cho, dancing his heart out. Cho let himself get caught up in Jane’s happiness and danced, too. While still doing his job, of course. The music turned slow, their mark and his date stayed on the dance floor so they did too. Jane put his arm around Cho, pulled him in for the slow dance. Cho rearranged their hands.

  
“I lead.” Sometimes, there was no arguing with Cho, even if he smiled when he did it. Jane obeyed, again, his blue eyes assessing every nuance on Cho’s stoic face. Cho took the moment of calm to ask Lisbon if they’d seen anyone that might be their killer. He knew she’d tell them instantly if they had, but he needed a distraction. Jane had put his head down on Cho’s shoulder and was quietly humming to himself while they danced and Cho found that so precious it hurt. He had to do something. The song went on and on and Cho smiled over Jane’s shoulder as he subconsciously held him even closer. He gave Jane such a look when the song was done, Jane couldn’t even decipher it.

  
The young man they were following, Ted, and his date looked like they were calling it a night. Lisbon announced that their perpetrator apparently wasn’t going to show at the club and had Van Pelt and Rigsby follow Ted home and start surveillance there. “We’re done here,” she said finally.

  
“I’m going to stay a while,” Jane announced. “Have a look around.”

  
“Cho, stay with him,” Agent Lisbon ordered while Cho wondered what Jane was up to now.

  
After the rest of the team left, Cho said to Jane, “You knew our guy wasn’t going to show, didn’t you? Why even go through the motions?”  
“Wasn’t dancing nice? Fun, wasn’t it? C’mon, let’s have a drink, hang a while” Jane was his usual evasive self.

  
Cho felt like he didn’t have much choice. He could leave, yes, but he’d never forgive himself if Jane got into something and couldn’t get out. He stayed, he ordered a whiskey, neat, figuring why the hell not. Jane got some stupid drink with an umbrella in it with pineapple and a straw. Did he have to look so adorable drinking it? Cho was confused. Is he flirting with me? He turned away from Jane, nursed his drink and watched the crowd. He assumed there must be something here to do with the case, Jane wouldn’t stay for nothing.

  
Jane, of course, had lots of things going on at once. He was there for the case, he needed to watch the bartender, something could be going on there and one of the waitresses didn’t seem right, either of them could be their murderer. The waitress didn’t seem to fit, like she was putting on an act.  
He hadn’t been suspicious of the employees there until later in the evening. Not all the murders were related to this bar. Or were they? He’d ask Van Pelt in the morning to see if she could find any connections to the other victims.

  
He had other motivations tonight, though. He knew as soon as he said he was going to stay, Lisbon’d make Cho stay with him. He liked it when his plans worked out. Cho was cute when he was confused. He liked ruffling his feathers. He liked having his attention. Cho was fun to mess with, because he was a challenge. You never had to explain your plans to Cho. You might have to convince him you’re right, you might have to convince him to go along, but you never had to explain the plan. Sometimes, Cho was three steps ahead, and wasn’t that refreshing.

  
“We gotta dance, now,” Jane said, standing up.

  
“No, we don’t.” Cho said, sitting down.

  
“C’mon, we’ll miss it.” Jane didn’t even wait, he headed to the dance floor, leaving Cho no choice, again.

  
Cho sighed for the umpteenth time tonight and followed him. They were back to where they danced before and Cho was still confused. He followed Jane’s gaze to try to see what he was seeing. The waitress? Cho watched her, too, when he could as they spun around. Either she was new or she wasn’t a waitress. Women serial killers often target men, at least now he knew what Jane was doing. From their spot on the floor they could watch her section of tables. Jane danced them over closer to her.

  
He leaned over, “Excuse me, Debra?” using the name on her tag. When that didn’t work he tried, “Miss? Could you bring us a couple beers?”

  
“Sure, sir, one minute,” she answered.

  
Few minutes later, she came back with their beer. Jane paid for both and thanked her. He headed back to their table. There’s a giant sign that says no drinks on the dance floor and she had just handed them their drinks on the dance floor. Cho surreptitiously kept watching her. He got out his phone, snapped a couple pics.

  
“Should we move on this tonight?” Cho asked.

  
“No, let’s see what she does,” Jane said.

  
“I’m going to look around for Debra.” Cho got up and headed toward the bar. He flashed his badge and asked the bartender if he could speak to Debra. As far as the bartender knew, there wasn’t a Debra who worked there. The bartender also told him that the waiters and waitresses often wore false names on their badges. “Could you tell me who that is, then?” he said pointing to the waitress at hand.

  
“Don’t know,” the bartender said.

  
“What do you mean, you don’t know?” Cho asked.

  
“Look, man, waitresses come and go, waiters too, I figured she was new,” he said.

  
Cho thanked him and went back to Jane with the info he’d gleaned. “She could be new, she could be a killer. This is getting us nowhere.” Cho complained. “We’re wasting our time.” He stood up to go. Jane put his hand over Cho’s and said, “Don’t go,” which to be fair, seemed to shock them both. Jane picked up his hand like it was on fire and stood up, too.

  
“Just messing around with you, just kidding,” Jane said and laughed. Cho wasn’t buying it, but neither did he want to get into it, because all the good reasons for doing what Jane did were reasons Cho didn’t want to think about. Cho headed out to the front entrance. This time, Jane didn’t have much choice. He followed him out.

  
“Cho, wait,” Jane said when they got to the car.

“If you wanted to go out with me, you should have asked,” Cho said.

Jane backed him against his Citroen. He looked him in the eye and said, “Will you have dinner with me tomorrow?”

“No. We work together. I never do that,” Cho said almost coldly. Jane’s face fell.

Jane rolled his eyes.

“Not that aren’t many, _many_ things I could think of to do with you besides dinner.”

Jane swallowed.  "Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Jane asked.

“Probably not. I’m not getting involved with you Jane. It’s a bad idea,” Cho was more gentle this time.

“I’m a bad idea?” That stung and it showed in his voice.

“Jane, stop, you know what I mean,” Cho stated.

“No, I don’t,” Jane was mad. Hurt and mad.

“I have to keep my work and relationship lives separate,” Cho tried, “besides there’s rules about it.”

“’Don’t hide behind rules, Cho. If you don’t want me, you don’t want me. Just say so.”

Cho got closer to Jane. “Don’t tell me who I want and who I don’t want,” Cho whispered angrily at Jane.

“So you want me but you don’t want me. I get it, okay. Can we go?” Jane gave up.

“Look, you started this. This whole charade tonight, you’re the one messing with me. I haven’t been anything but honest with you.”

Jane got in the car without saying a word and started it. Once more, Cho didn’t have much choice, other than wait for a cab. He looked around while he decided. He was this close to choosing the cab. They drove to Cho’s in silence.

“Want some tea?” Cho said when they got there.

“I’d love some.” Jane said. They didn’t say anything more on the walk inside. Jane closed the door and turned around when Cho grabbed him by his tie. He nearly threw him against the door.

“You don’t really want tea, do you?” Cho asked, standing a little too close.

“I knew it. You want me,” Jane said in his usual arrogant way.

“Don’t be smug.” Cho demanded and Jane shut his mouth. Cho got close, tilted his head, made it look like he was going to kiss Jane. Jane’s mouth dropped open and he leaned in, but Cho pulled back, all the way back.

“Who wants who?,” Cho said sternly.

Jane’s pupils nearly obscured the blue. Cho noticed. He stalked off, into the house, away from Jane. For the first time that evening Jane felt off kilter.

“Can we stop fighting, please? I’m sorry for tonight, okay? It wasn’t all about you, it wasn’t. Some of it was about the case. I expected the killer would show, I did. I ruled out the bartender and I don’t think it’s the waitress. Don’t be angry with me. I wanted….” And he paused, “Never mind.” He said all that to Cho’s receding back. He turned around to go but he couldn’t find the will to turn the doorknob. He let his forehead drop onto the door. He didn’t want to leave.

Then there were hands on his back, smoothing across from his spine out to his shoulders, down his arms. He felt warm breath on the back of his neck followed by lips being dragged over his skin. Chills ran down his spine. The kisses moved up to his earlobe. “You make me crazy. Under my skin. Like no one I’ve ever known,” was fervently whispered in his ear. Cho held Jane’s chin, lifting it away to stretch out Jane’s neck, licking the length of it from his collar to behind his ear. Jane let his head drop back onto Cho’s shoulder. Cho nibbled his way back to his collar, teeth leaving marks. Jane was along for the ride he dare not move.  Cho ran his fingers along Jane’s hairline, running all of them through Jane’s curls.  He grasped a handful and used the grip to turn Jane’s head so he could kiss him. Jane finally got involved and turned all the way around to face him, never losing mouth-to-mouth contact. Cho held Jane where he wanted him, devouring his mouth, taking his fill. 

“Is this what you wanted?” Cho still seemed angry, but now his eyes were as dark as night, voice gruff.

“Yes,” Jane said with no hesitation.

Cho turned his back again on Jane, walking away in confident strides. This is what Jane loved about him. Nine times out of ten, Cho proved Jane’s predictions false. Confusion, happiness, anger, rejection, hope, and sexual frustration all warred for his attention and he was stymied as to how to move on.

“Jane.”

One word from Cho and Jane was on the move. He followed the sound. Cho’s house was immaculate. All strong lines, angles and muted colors. The small size of the rooms and the fireplace leant a hidden warmth. Just like Cho. He was sitting on the couch with a couple of beers on the coffee table. Jane sat down and waited to see what Cho would do. He drank the whole beer, waiting.

“I meant it, Jane. I’m not getting into a relationship with you.” And he stopped. Beating Jane’s expectations again. Jane thought he’d gotten past Cho’s defensive walls and he thought Cho would say more. Wrong on both accounts.

“And?” Jane said hopefully.

“The things I want to do to you…..” he said this with passion and annoyance. He shook his head no, over and over.

“The things I want you to do to me…..” Jane made sure he had Cho’s eyes as he spoke, nodding his head yes.

“Just for tonight?” Cho asked.

“Whatever you want.”

Cho paused, weighing the possibilities. He drained his beer and tackled Jane right there on the couch. Jane saw it coming and caught him. They kissed like their lives depended on it. Jane’s brain was screaming “YES”. Cho sat up, straddling Jane. He tore the vest open, buttons be damned. So satisfying. He repeated the process with the shirt. Jane’s skin blushed and Cho’s eyes got darker. Jane reached up and started loosening Cho’s tie and unbuttoning his shirt. Cho sat and watched, felt every movement of Jane’s fingers undressing him. He wriggled out of it when the buttons were done, tie still hanging.

“You turn me inside out Jane, I need to trust you’ll stop me.”

“I can take it.”

“No. Don’t take it. Stop me.”

Jane took a long studying look at Cho. “You have my word.” He meant it. But he also wanted to take it. He wanted to feel and be felt. He wanted to feel nothing at all. He wanted to be wanted the way Cho wanted him.

Cho unbuckled and removed his belt, dropped it on the floor, flipped the clasp, unzipped his pants. Jane sat up, holding onto Cho for leverage and balanced himself on his other arm behind him. He scooted around until he could lick Cho’s nipple, he licked some more and covered it with his mouth, using his tongue to rub against it. He felt it firm up and sucked. Cho hummed gravelly deep in his throat. He held Jane’s head there and moved his chest to rhythmically move his nipple back and forth in Jane’s mouth. He grasped the back of Jane’s head and popped his mouth free, leaning down to capture it with his own. Jane whimpered. He put Jane’s mouth back on his nipple. Jane used his teeth. Cho hissed.

Cho stood them up. His slacks started to slide down his hips to his thighs. He let them drop. He shuffled over in front of the fireplace, shedding his pants completely on the way. When they got there, he undid Jane’s belt, unbuttoned and unzipped him, all while Jane passively watched. He slid Jane out of his clothes, started kissing him near his belly button. He kissed his way to Jane’s ear. “Sometimes when you’re speaking, I want to shove my cock down your throat to shut you up” gently pushing down on Jane’s hips. Jane chuckled a low chuckle and dropped to his knees. He shoved Cho’s silky purple boxers down and out of the way. Cho was completely naked but for his tie and socks. Jane took in an eyeful. From his perspective, with the fire lighting them up, Cho was a god. His golden skin stretched over sculpted muscles. Jane had to touch all that glowing skin. He ran his hands up and down Cho’s legs. He kissed the diagonal line from hip to groin, stayed to mouth his balls. Cho reached down to guide himself into Jane’s mouth.

That was hot and Jane eagerly opened up. Cho held him under his chin, but let Jane set the pace. He took his time, savored every inch, gliding Cho in and out, until finally his nose was buried in pubic hair. He took a breath from the sides of his mouth and swallowed. Cho groaned. He was watching Jane intensely while the sensations built in his gut. Jane began moving again, Cho’s hips moving in small movements against Cho’s will. Jane put Cho’s hands on the back of his head, trying to get him to hang on like he had earlier. He wanted those strong hands giving him no choice. Then he held still, waiting for Cho. Cho tilted Jane’s head up to make eye contact.

“Jane?”

Jane nodded his head. With his mouth stretched around Cho, on his knees, white shirt still hanging from his shoulders, bright eyes giving him permission, _giving me permission to fuck his mouth,_ Cho was shockingly turned on.

Everything he’d ever wanted.

  
He started to thrust, slowly at first, giving Jane time to either adjust or put a stop to this. But Jane, as if he was reading Cho’s mind, clasped his hands behind his own back, completely giving his body to Cho. Cho grasped those damned curls anew and thrust into the warmth of Jane’s willing mouth. He built a rhythm thrusting about halfway over and over. Jane relaxed his muscles, dropped the last of any resistance. Cho gave himself over to his urges, let his frustrations out, his frustrations with life, his frustrations with Jane, letting them all out, nearly ramming into Jane’s nose with every thrust. Jane’s non-stop brain was overwhelmed by sensation. His existence switched from constant observational analysis to one of pure experience; being naked in a strange place, the heat of the fire on his skin, Cho’s sure hands gripping his head, the smell of sex, the tang and sliding of flesh on his tongue, a full mouth, the need to breathe, the sounds of his own moaning against Cho’s grunting. His eyes rolled back in his head and closed.

Everything he ever wanted.

He felt like Cho was nearing his finish. He swallowed on every third thrust or so and Cho whined in short bursts every time. Then Cho’s abdomen clenched, his arms bunched, his fingers pulled Jane’s hair as he held on even tighter. Jane’s muffled cry was lost when with one last thrust, Jane’s face was buried in Cho’s groin. Cho came down Jane’s throat, practically sobbing. He shook as it tore through him, a restrained tempest, squeezing Jane’s head instinctively to keep upright. Jane swallowed as best he could, the rest running down his chin. He filled his lungs between swallows. Jane felt Cho’s orgasm as if it was his own. He was right there. Surrounded. He felt every tremor, every pulse. Cho was curling around him, grinding into his face.

For a space of time he didn’t exist.

Only as part of Kimball and pleasure.

But then Jane missed a chance to breathe. He struggled and pushed Cho’s hips away, pulled Cho’s hands out of his hair. Cho startled and pulled himself away, falling to his knees while Jane gasped and coughed.

“Jane! Jane, oh my God,” Cho immediately regretted what he’d done, even as he was still feeling the effects. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” he kept saying. He ran to the kitchen and got a cloth and a bottle of water and ran back to Jane who was catching his breath, settling down. Cho knelt in front of him and tenderly wiped Jane’s face. “I’m so sorry, sorry.” Tears formed in the corner of his eyes, too many chemicals running through his system, he was feeling vulnerable, guilty, overexposed. He rubbed Jane’s back.

“Stop saying that. Just stop.” Jane said in a strong voice. He was upset. He took the towel from Cho and set it down. “Stop fucking apologizing!” then, when he saw a trace of fear on Cho’s face, calmer, “You did nothing wrong. That was amazing.” He kissed Cho to convince him.

“I choked you, you couldn’t breathe,” Cho whispered to the floor, “Exactly what I was afraid of.”

“A brief moment, I was never in any danger,” Jane wiped the water from Cho’s eyes, “Don’t cry, look at me, I’m fine,” speaking in a high-pitched voice, searching for Cho’s eyes, gently “I’m fine, I’m okay.” He swallowed, cleared his throat. “I’m fine,” he said with reassuring certainty. Tears always made Jane a little nervous.

“I’m not crying. I shouldn’t have done it. You shouldn’t have let me.”

“I’d let you do that whenever you want.”

Cho studied Jane, took a long, assessing look. He gathered his wits, felt back on solid ground. “You may not have been in danger, but you are dangerous,” Cho said as he tried to wrap his head around Patrick Jane for the millionth time since they met. He pulled Jane close, hugged him for all he was worth. Cho rubbed his body against Jane, a little surprised to find him still hard. He kissed him. “We should do something about that,” Cho purred and Jane smiled.

“First you’re going to tell me there was nothing shameful with what we just did. You needed it, I needed it and it was good. No one got hurt.”

“This time. I could hurt you. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“I told you I would stop you and I did. I always will. You’d never actually hurt me.”

Cho took time to think. “I needed that. It was good. It’ll never happen again.”

“Never say never,” Jane said cheekily, “but I’ll take it.” He kissed Cho again to reassure him there was nothing wrong with him, never in Jane’s eyes.

Cho laid Jane out on the carpet. He laid next to him and kissed him, ran his hand over his erection. He covered the tip with his fist, giving it a couple pumps, feeling the blood rush under his skin. He sat up and opened the little drawer in the coffee table. He pulled out a condom and some lube. The fact that he had those things at the ready was so Cho-like, Jane had to laugh.

“What?” Cho asked, innocently.

“Nothin” Jane answered.

Cho smiled because Jane was smiling. He put the condom on Jane, followed it with lube. Jane was done being surprised when Cho climbed on top of him, backwards. He straddled Jane, facing away so Jane could watch, supported Jane’s cock and lowered himself down. Jane questioned what he’d ever done to deserve the miracle that is Agent Cho. He let Cho drop down, and he watched to his content, but Jane didn’t want to be passive this time. He bent his knees, putting his feet flat on the floor. Holding Cho’s waist, he thrust up into Cho. Cho held onto Jane’s knees, falling forward. They groaned at that. Cho found Jane’s rhythm, leaning back with every thrust. They did that for a while, just enjoying being connected. Jane used his arms to sit himself up, scooting his butt around until he and Cho were balanced again. Cho anchored himself on his knees on the floor, arching his back to lean on Jane’s chest. Jane, looking over Cho’s shoulder, held Cho’s erection delicately, lovingly smoothing his thumb over the tip. He saw Cho closed his eyes and relax. He started jacking Cho the way he’d do himself, all the while using his thighs to thrust.

“Jane” Cho breathed

“I’m right here. I have you,” Jane assured him.

Cho put hand over Jane’s and helped Jane finish him. He came for the second time. It quietly worked its way from his groin out, swirling through his muscles. Jane clamped his mouth down on the back of Cho’s neck and came, hard, panting right in Cho’s ear. They nearly fell over. Cho caught them with one arm easing them down to lay on the rug. Jane enveloped Cho while electricity shot through his body.

A few minutes passed and Jane started shivering. He was still wearing his shirt and not much else. Cho turned around to face Jane. He pushed sweaty curls off his forehead..

“Stay here tonight,” Cho said, “Go home in the morning.”

“You sure, sounds like a relationship.”

“I let one night stands stay all the time.”

“You’ve never had a one night stand in your life.”

“Shows what you know. Stay. Don’t stay. It’s up to you.”

“Nah, I’ll stay. Do you have a blanket?”

Cho shook his head in exasperation. He stood up and held his hand out for Jane.

“You are gorgeous,” Jane said sincerely from his viewpoint on the floor, “sculpted perfection. Hmm-mmm.” He reached out and took the offered hand. Cho didn’t know what to do with that, so he sighed. Jane whispered, “No, don’t do that, you are devastatingly attractive.” Jane was sincere, stating facts.

“You’re one to talk.” Cho turned and headed to his bedroom, Jane appreciated the view then jogged to catch up. They climbed into bed and turned off the light. Cho rolled away from Jane while Jane lay on his back.

 

“Jane?”

“Yeah?”

“You said you needed it. What did you mean?” Cho asked.

“I haven’t had sex for a while,” Jane offered.

“No, you said you needed what we did,” Cho pushed a little, turning around to face Jane.

Jane sighed, “Yeah, I did.” The dark leant an air of safety.

Cho waited for him to elaborate. When no answer came, he gave up, closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

Jane thought. He started in, “My brain never stops. 24/7 non-stop, gather data, analyze, rinse, repeat. It’s not a conscious process, I can’t take a break. Sleep doesn’t help. I have nightmares. Copious amounts of alcohol worked sometimes, but you know where that can lead. So I needed that. With you. Someone I trust.”

“Thank you for telling me.”

“I tried sensory deprivation once. One of those tanks. It was horrible. Left alone to my racing anxieties,” he shook with the memory. “Now I have nightmares about that damn tank.”

“Why did you? Need it, I mean,” Jane reciprocated the question.

“I thought you knew.” It was an honest statement.

Jane rolled over to face Cho. “Cho, I don’t read minds, I really don’t. I have guesses, but I don’t know what you’re thinking. I’m just me.”

“Control. Taking it, having it, losing it. We work in a world where I have no real control, and yet I have to be in control of myself. Criminals lose control, others are victims of that loss. Best I can do is catch the bad guys and console the rest. I can’t do that if I let the horror of it all overwhelm me. I have to have a controlled response to out of control circumstances. You gave me permission to take control for once and then to lose it.”

“When you did, lose it, for those moments, my brain stopped. I didn’t exist outside of you and feeling good. No thoughts.” Jane smiled with the memory.

“What am I going to do with you?” Cho said with wonder in his voice.

“You’re going call me when you need that again.”

Cho rolled back over, away from Jane. The two men, lost in their own thoughts, fell asleep.


End file.
